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Life Philosophy - Dhanesh Nair

Monday 10 October 2022

A note of hope - World Mental Health Day


Everyone goes through various stages in their lives. I had a warm and lovely childhood, good food, a comfortable place to sleep, a separate study room, and a loving family. Who will believe that I will face difficulties as I grow older? My father would go to great lengths to ensure that I did well in school. In order to stay on track, he was very strict about my studies, friends, playtime, and so on. He was always expecting me to win. That was my requirement as a child. Every report card signing day is the scariest day until that point. I was frequently compared to other children. I was punished for failing to obtain the first. I was punished for not receiving the first rank, and if I did receive the first rank, I was punished for not receiving full marks. This is not something new for an Indian or Asian family. As a result of how most of us were raised, we are generally appreciative of our parents for providing us with the extra care that we now associate with success.

Unfortunately, our minds are not that straightforward. It's a labyrinth. You will not be able to race on a daily basis. I can't take the failure any longer. When I find myself in a position of comparison, I frequently encounter anxiety. I am always on the lookout for acceptance and approval. The long-term battle with my mind began when I realized I was becoming anxious in every situation I was unfamiliar with. This was not what I expected, but as you know, it was due to my parents' desire to make me the best and give me a better future, for which I cannot blame them.

I realised how heinous it was when the relationship I was in ended and they blamed it on my mental state. Unfortunately, nothing was wrong except the circumstances, and when they blamed me, I decided to fight back. Then came the medication and counselling phase. The majority of the counsellors I met in India see this as an opportunity to make money. They gave me moronic work assignments, which I noticed were not helping me.

However, everything began to return to its former glory. My family understood my predicament and unconditionally supported me. My wife, who is a huge supporter of my journey, and my children, who keep me occupied, as well as some good counsellors, books, and medication, kept me going. Is it still challenging for me? Yes, I am. I become depressed when I lose hope, have anxiety and panic attacks (twice), and exhibit symptoms of OCD. I'm confident that with self-love, support, and care to keep me going, I'll overcome the obstacles and achieve my goals.

You, too, may be going through a difficult period. You may be unsure whether what you are experiencing is a psychiatric condition or simply a feeling. Do not disregard. Pay attention to your thoughts. Consider whether you require assistance. Talk to your loved ones. If you don't have any friends to share it with, that's fine. I am one of those people who has few friends and does not share my difficulties and pain with them. Read up on CBT techniques and thought patterns. If you have any of these thoughts, talk to someone you care about. Consult a psychiatrist or psychologist. If you still want to talk to somebody else? Please contact me at I am confident that I can assist you. 

Let success come to you.